Let me tell you all a little story about my teeth. This is what my teeth look like now:
This is what my teeth would have looked like without modern dentistry/orthadontics:
Okay… but maybe minus the mustache above.
Anyway, it all began when my baby teeth refused to fall out on their own. They had the longest roots known to human baby teeth and I even got to keep them after they were ALL pulled in a cutesy little “tooth” container. Which on a different I always found weird. “Here’s a mini treasure chest we put your extracted tooth in, enjoy!”.
Oh and on a different side note, I didn’t go to a children’s dentist, never have, so I was never under the influence of laughing gas when I get my many baby teeth pulled. I was just numbed up… and I swear the sound of someone cracking your tooth as they’re trying to get it out- one of the worst sounds EVER.
Anyhow, after all the surgical work was done, my dentist sent me to the orthodontist who put braces on the four front teeth I had remaining. This was when I was in fourth grade. At the time braces were a cool thing that the older kids all did, so it didn’t bother me much.
THEN my adult teeth weren’t coming in, we literally waited something like a year and a half to two years for those puppies to come in while I just had my four front teeth with brackets on them. Then there was talk of having them go in and surgically pull them down to quicken the process. I remember hearing this and cringing, then praying to God my teeth would magically appear.
Then one day while watching motocross (the Disney channel movie) I was moving my finger around all the empty gums and felt a hard tooth pushing through. I did a little happy dance and ran to show my parents how proud I was. I’d like to think they were pretty pleased too.
So then, once all my teeth grew in, we realized some of them, to be more specific, two of them were growing in completely sideways. Woo hoo!
Once that had been corrected they put these metal springs in that worked as those rubberbands kids wear do except faster and more effectively apparently.
Well these things were really painful, and unlike rubber-bands you couldn’t take them out. I couldn’t open my mouth very wide, and they were cutting up the insides of my cheeks. My mom had a little melt down because her worst fears are infections. Thus, she made the orthodontist take the metal springs out, and I went to regular rubber-bands. After this was corrected, the orthodontist realized my “mid line” was off. A mid line is when the top teeth and bottom teeth don’t have symmetry. At this point it had been six years since they had originally started this whole process and my orthodontist gave up on me.
End of story…
I had pushed this all far away from my thoughts until the other day I felt one tooth on the bottom feeling out of place. It honestly felt like it was turning sideways, and I don’t know if its me being paranoid but all these horror stories about kids who got their braces off, didn’t wear their retainers and their teeth resumed original placement flew into my brain.
So I did what anyone would do, I put my retainers in (painfully mind you, I haven’t worn them in like 6 months) and went to sleep.
The next day I woke up and realized my retainers weren’t in anymore. I was really confused, and told my mom, then of course because she freaks out over almost everything she has this theory that I’ve swallowed them in my sleep.
Some of you are probably thinking yeah right! those are way to big! but no my friends, you see, the orthodontist for some reason (only God and he know why) cut my retainers so they only “retain” the four front teeth and four bottom teeth. Very effective, I know. So it is very very possible I could have swallowed them.
I run upstairs and start tearing my bed apart.
And TA DA! I find them next to my pillow.
Since this occurrence I am proud to say I have worn my retainers every night and I plan to do so for a very long time. I’m never going back to jank teeth! ….Or my crazy orthodontist.
Moral of the story, take care of your pretty teeth, or else you may have braces for six unwanted years of your life!