This can’t be real…

“You caught me making out with a man- m4w- 24 (pullman)

I’m sorry. You were taking so long in the bathroom and this guy was looking at me. More like staring. Then next thing I knew we were making out and you came back and stormed out of the bar. I just want you to know that I really liked you and I’m not gay, I just have gay experiences sometimes. You are a beautiful girl and I’m glad that you came out on a date with me. I would like very much to try again. This time I will give all my love to you.

P.S. You should consider a urologist visit.”

That has to be one of the best I’ve found on craigslist…

————————————————————————————

update: look what I just found…

“Me: Now with even lower standards!- m4w- 24 (Pullman)

Due to severe shortages of quality women in Pullman, the following categories of unforgivable lowlifes have been promoted to “potential relationship material” for me:

-Barflies
-Daily pot smokers
-My intellectual inferiors
-Sororistutes
-Schadenfreude enthusiasts
-Possessive types
-Liars
-Cheaters
-Tan Queens
-Women old enough to be my Mom
-My Mom
-Anyone else in my family, including the remains of my dead grandmother
-Lawyers
-People who can’t spell, much less construct a single coherent sentence, even to safe their life
-Lawyers
-Alcoholics
-Negative, bitchy types
-Politicians/the criminally insane
-Smokers who pretend to be non-smokers
-Vain, self-centered sorority queens
-Drama queens
-Women who always get dumped and can’t figure out why
-The dental-hygienically challenged
-Republicans
-Anyone with that shit-eating fetish
-The insecure
-Egomaniacs
-Narcissists
-Bad kissers
-The fiscally irresponsible
-Anyone in any kind of tribute band

Hope to hear from you soon…”

Hmmmm maybe it’s the same freak??

—————————————————————–

Update: And it just keeps getting better…

“Seeking pretend girlfriend for pretend romance- m4w- 24 (pullman)

After reading ad after ad about individuals seeking to find a relationship offering meaning, contentment, or an opportunity to be spanked by a dominant transgender cheerleader, I’ve decided that all I really, really want right now is a pretend relationship.

The benefits of a pretend relationship lie in being able to communicate (via e-mail only) with another individual about things that are not actually occurring in one’s otherwise too-bland-for-even-reality life. It’s the incredible chance to be completely dishonest with another individual who wants nothing more than a beautiful pretend connection with another soul.

We needn’t share photos, real names, or anything resembling accurate personal data. I will never ask you to call me, meet me, IM me, or send me your bank account routing number to help a deposed Nigerian dictator who will pay you back in rupees. I really just want to have a deep, intense and intimate relationship that has no actual roots in earthly reality.

Note Carefully: To be my pretend girlfriend, you must be exceedingly intelligent, articulate, and edgy. Your sense of humor must be phenomenal — I would never pretend date someone who was not incredibly funny. You should be quite beautiful with striking features, (though I will never really know if it’s true). Last, it’s essential that your mastery of English includes proper spelling, syntax and grammatical associations. Have no doubt that I will pretend break-up with you in a heartbeat if you make lots of typos. Seriously, that’s a major turn off…

I am (in truth, and just this once,) a really bright, very good looking physician, who is probably running a bit hypo manic in recent weeks. I am coming off of a very painful pretend-break up, so I might be pretend rebounding right about now.

Please note: I will not respond to any replies that include photos of your pretend penis. (I don’t expect any such replies, but it seems like everyone writes that at the end of their ads…)”

Coincidence they’ve all been 24? I think not…

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