Everyone Poops.

Last night I had the joy of accompanying my sister to Trevor’s Tuesday night softball men’s league game. I’ve gone to many of his games before… it’s nothing new. Just men over the age of 25 getting their thrills playing baseball with a large neon-yellow baseball.

 

The part that actually makes the games worth attending is definitely the men he plays with and their wives. They are some of the funniest people I would venture to guess I have ever met! Jenni and I usually just sit there and watch the game while listening to the wives talk about getting drunk next weekend while they’re at the PA Tournament and all of the previous shenanigans that went down last year. Apparently these middle-aged parents get pretty wild.

 

Anyways, story for another time… so we get to the park and the men begin shooting the breeze warming up and all the sudden one of their teammates comes running from the direction of the bathroom looking really angry. He starts cussing left and right throwing out the word “shit” quite a bit. Finally when he calms down, we get to hear his story. Apparently when he entered the men’s restroom he was shocked to find a naked man with long scraggily hair covering his face washing poop off of his clothing, while standing in a small room with poop all over the walls, ceilings, and floors… almost as though he got into a fight with his own excrement.

 

Then, another guy from the team says, “Yeah… when I went in there he still had his shirt on but was washing his pants.” Then they start to talk about how if they had diarrhea (or whatever this poor man had) they would rather do their business right there in the field than running to the restroom and missing the toilet. They would rather run and interrupt a game by sitting on home plate doing number 2. Which after long consideration… is a valid point. Obviously the man washing his clothing naked in the public bathroom isn’t too worried about his own personal appearance… so why not “pop a squat” somewhere random before you create a huge mess for others to view?

 

Then I started thinking about the situation and my next question, was had the man cleaned himself? Was his bum covered in his own waste? Did he look up when he heard other men coming into the restroom? Or did he just continue about his business like this is what happens every Tuesday after he plays some ball? Also… my sister and I were so interested in seeing what this man looked like, we kept watch… and after a whole game he didn’t leave the bathroom. Never exited. I guess I’ll never know…  

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4 thoughts on “Everyone Poops.

  1. Ryan says:

    That is my favorite poop story ever.

    Here’s one. When I was a young boy of 12 my brother and I needed to use a restroom at a local store. We went in and heard moaning and groaning. So we decided to wait til the groaning guy left. He came out and was an old man, and he had toilet paper hanging off the back of his pants covered in…well, you know. Then we went in and saw a trail of poopy footprints and found a bunch of…well, you know…on the floor NEXT to the toilet. Missed by THAT much.

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