(My sister and I)
Tonight my friend Emily and I were bored and decided to watch some of the third season of Gilmore Girls. I loved this show at it’s peak. I had forgotten how good of a relationship my mother and I used to have. Around my freshman and sophomore year of high school we were the closest we had ever been. My dad was working nights, and my sister was in college. Therefore, we were the only ones at home nightly.
I remember dinners were fun. Only because my whole life I grew up with formal dinners. My mom would prepare a meal every night for my dad when he got home we would all sit at our designated seats at the dinner table, forced to share stories of our days. But when it was just my mother and I- we usually had oriental chicken salads that consisted of the salad mix and chicken strips from the deli.
Some nights we would go shopping, on a school night even, at fifteen I couldn’t fathom leaving my mother for college eventually. We were best friends.
My favorite night? Tuesdays. Because Gilmore Girls was on. And even though I do have a dad, and a sister, I always felt as though my mother and I were a lot like Lorilie and Rory. We depended on one another, and spent most of our time with one another. I used to tell her everything, and she gave the best advice. Usually I would think of my mother as the person never to tell a secret to, but when we were alone she was different. She wasn’t the over-bearing protective mother I had grown up knowing. She actually listened.
It makes me sad to think we barely have any piece of that relationship left. Lately when I come home for a break or weekend, I can barely stand to be around her. Things have been pretty crazy ever since I left home, and my sister got engaged, bought her own house with her fiance, and moved out. I think losing two daughters at once was difficult for my mom.
Things will never be the same, I know I have a lot to look forward to. But it would be fun to re-live a day in my life four years ago.
I wonder how she’ll hold up after my sister is officially married this August. Everything has seemed so surreal. The countless fights over wedding colors, food, or location seem to be never ending. But there are only seven months and counting until the big day.
One of my least favorite things to do lately has been anything with the wedding plans. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fun process, but not when my mom disagrees with everything my sister wants. You’d almost think it was my mother’s wedding.
Not too long ago I told my sister I was never going to tell my mom any of my wedding plans, and just do it all myself. She actually laughed in my face and told me my mom would find a way to squeeze herself into the planning.
Over Christmas break I was forced to try on bridesmaid dress after bridesmaid dress. I hate attention. Especially judgemental attention. My mother, aunt, sister, and whoever else she invited along would sit on big puffy couches, waiting for me to come out of the dressing room with a new dress on, just to stand on a pedestal and be critiqued. Apparently this is my duty as the maid of honor. However, I dread this.
I know I am far from marriage, but of course as female I have always dreamt of my wedding. I have numerous plans that I have mentioned to my sister before when we used to plan our weddings with one another. And lately… she’s stealing my ideas. This sounds crazy because I was 6… but it’s true! My favorite color since birth? Yellow. Her wedding color? Pale yellow. She says she came to this decision because her engagment ring is a canary diamond. haha, really? she’s matching her wedding to her ring?!
Anyways… I’m keeping the rest of my ideas to myself, and only God knows she’ll have children before me and use my baby names. haha.